Empathy Poetry

You aren’t good for me

I’m not good for you

Yet, we still have chemistry

Magnetic perhaps

Explosive always

However, it’s toxic

Slowly killing us

This love is poison

1:16 am

I can’t sleep

Thoughts of you intoxicate me

I’m drowning with what could have been and what I should have said

Things I can’t take back

Things I can’t make right

I didn’t think hearts were meant to for breaking but mine feels like it’s falling apart

1:16 am

I can’t sleep

I once lived with my birth mother
She was very beautiful and kind
No matter how hard she tried,
She couldn’t take care of me
Her mental illness became too much
Where she had to sadly give me up
I don’t remember when or how I ended up in a foster home
All I know is little me wondered what I did so wrong
Now these unwanted feelings return as I become an adult
And no matter how hard I try,
Those feelings of abandonment do not die
I thought all my life if I was perfect,
No one would leave me
My psychologist says that’s not true thinking
No wonder my self-esteem and confidence through years has been sinking
All I can do is take it day by day
Mama Ida, I love you and forgive you
I know you were just trying to give me a better life
 

When you said you no longer wanted me,

I found my purpose

I knew my worth

I could do better

Thank you for that

I never needed your validation

I simply needed to love myself

I fought for you and you were to never be mine

How cruel it was to know this all along and not tell me

You knew the ending as soon as it began

I was a naive woman to think we could really be anything more than friends

It is hard to just shut off feelings when all you have ever been told is to follow your heart

You left

Therefore, my heart went with you